Force can be recognized as the intense pushing and controlling through varying means to get others to do as we want them to. This can include ultimatums, punishment, gossip, blame and the fabrication of stories that, in the mind of the "forcer," support and substantiate their terms and conditions for others.

Power, on the other hand, entails the acceptance of another individual through peaceful support of their personal life path and choices.

Applying power/empowerment to parenting means taking a step back and observing the strategies that we are employing, shifting gears from the control type of archetype to the mentoring role.

As an example, let us assume your teen has decided he or she wants to take a year off after high school to discover a bit of the world. This may include travel to foreign lands, entering the workforce or leaving the nest.

Despite some of our best-laid parental plans, youths may have ideas about their lives that differ vastly from our own. A forceful approach - attempting to make them do as we see fit - can breed a host of emotionally damaging concepts: resentment, fear and communicative shutdown that can rival the War of 1812 in its ability to massacre the closeness of the family unit.

An empowered and powerful approach could mean calmly and openly listening to our teen's reasoning, asking some key questions about how he or she sees the future unfolding, and offering our own experience as a guide while letting the teen know we will wholeheartedly support his or her choices with an open heart and home.

This calmness of resolve can be challenging, as some of us may think our children are going to waste their lives or end up living in a ditch somewhere south of Miami eating breakfast from a dumpster.

Remember: you will receive what you believe, so believe in the best possible version of your life and your teen's.

Jasmine Iwaszkiewicz specializes in youth counselling. Her website is www.beingu.ca. Questions for her can be sent to mirror@simcoe.com.